{"id":2564,"date":"2020-08-11T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-08-11T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lfsmusings.com\/?p=2564"},"modified":"2021-01-20T15:57:40","modified_gmt":"2021-01-20T21:57:40","slug":"my-adoption-story-pt-77-i-didnt-have-the-language-not-an-adoptees-responsibility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/08\/11\/my-adoption-story-pt-77-i-didnt-have-the-language-not-an-adoptees-responsibility\/","title":{"rendered":"MY ADOPTION STORY Pt. 77 | I DIDN&#8217;T HAVE THE LANGUAGE | NOT AN ADOPTEE&#8217;S RESPONSIBILITY"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"NOT AN ADOPTEE&#039;S RESPONSIBILITY | I DIDN&#039;T HAVE THE LANGUAGE | MY ADOPTION STORY Pt. 77 |\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/nBSAFEBab5o?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the most common forms of invalidation I see is, &#8216;My child hasn&#8217;t expressed these feelings so yours aren&#8217;t valid&#8217;. The problem with this is that it puts an immense amount of responsibility on children to educate themselves on racism and adoption trauma. People assume if a child doesn&#8217;t speak up about these things, then they don&#8217;t experience it. How are children supposed to speak up about things they don&#8217;t fully understand? Secondly, what child tells their parent EVERYTHING? There are many layers to this, but overall, people must remember that it is up to adults to create the safe spaces for children. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My videos are filmed and scheduled to publish weeks in advance. While I had the energy to discuss these topics then, I may be in a different place now. I don\u2019t want any adoptee to feel like I am ignoring their connections. I just have to take care of myself as well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For Lilly&#8217;s Entire Adoption Playlist: https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/playlist?list=PLdiBfpTw0hchlWKNWP476kUsffxX9yWFj<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the most common forms of invalidation I see is, &#8216;My child hasn&#8217;t expressed these feelings so yours aren&#8217;t valid&#8217;. The problem&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3563,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,2],"tags":[186,191,192,665],"class_list":["post-2564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-episodes","category-advocacy","tag-chinese-adoption","tag-chinese-transracial-adoptee","tag-chinese-transracial-adoption","tag-transracial-adoption"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>MY ADOPTION STORY Pt. 77 | I DIDN&#039;T HAVE THE LANGUAGE | NOT AN ADOPTEE&#039;S RESPONSIBILITY - LillyFei<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/nBSAFEBab5o One of the most common forms of invalidation I see is, &#039;My child hasn&#039;t expressed these feelings so yours aren&#039;t valid&#039;. 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