{"id":2822,"date":"2020-07-13T16:48:16","date_gmt":"2020-07-13T22:48:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lfsmusings.com\/?p=2822"},"modified":"2021-01-22T15:41:21","modified_gmt":"2021-01-22T21:41:21","slug":"mask-musings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/07\/13\/mask-musings\/","title":{"rendered":"Mask Musings"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Yes, I recognize this entire situation is complicated. Yes, I realize people need to work to live. Vacations and parties are not excusable in my book.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s been four months of quarantining, social distancing, and wearing a mask. And yet when I go on social media, my feeds are flooded with acquaintances traveling, visiting friends and family, living their normal lives sans mask and sans social distancing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My anger at this began due to my career in science. The numbers were right in front of us. The very simple experiments showing the efficacy of masks were posted everywhere. I saw people with medical issues that make wearing masks very challenging still wearing a mask <\/em>because they understood their part in society. I couldn’t understand the other selfish behavior I was seeing. My anger grew when I saw other places successfully flatten the curve and return to their new normal while numbers around me skyrocketed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I scroll and see a post of a girls’ trip to the beach right above a post of someone asking for prayers because they must virtually say goodbye to their dying family member. I see weddings occurring as planned right next to articles of convention centers and dorms being opened up to house patients that the hospitals can’t accommodate. I see relatives calling their family members sheep for believing in this “hoax”… selfish for not visiting during this time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think about my own family. How we could not be together and support one of our own who has endured a loss no one should ever be forced to live through. I think about how two visits to see my parents have been cancelled and we have no clue when it will be safe to see each other again. I think of my partner, an educator who (as of now) will be required to teach in-person classes in August. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are times when I want to say screw it<\/em> and pack up my things and drive home. 100% of the time, I wish this wasn’t the situation we are in. I would love<\/em> to eat a meal at a restaurant again. I would jump for joy if I could sit in a coffee shop and write for an entire day. Perhaps if everyone was doing their part, these things would be possible. Instead, I dodge people who walk close to me and I hold my breath walking by people without masks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve reached the point of cynicism when I think of what the people around me are doing. I’ve stopped reaching out to many after I saw a general lack of understanding that we must all do our part to flatten the curve. I’ve stopped being surprised when I see people sharing articles about staying safe while also going on lunch dates. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spend sessions with my therapist questioning if I am a terrible person for thinking that some people will not change until COVID-19 affects them personally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yea, it’s lonely. I only see my partner that I live with and a single co-worker. I have an entire room of the lab to myself. Most of my other human interactions lasts for a maximum two minutes while I pick up a to-go order. It’ll be lonely for much longer if people keep thinking the rules don’t apply to them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quarantining and working from home wasn’t an extension of spring break or an early start to summer. It wasn’t a gift of freedom that lets you take advantage of cheap flights and go on the vacation you always dreamed of. I don’t know what else it will take for people to wake up. I don’t know if they already have and are taking the YOLO Approach. In my opinion, when YOLO affects other people’s health lives, that’s not okay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I will continue wearing a mask when I go out. I keep getting my food to-go. I refuse to sit on a patio unless I see social distancing and masks. I won’t be making any travel plans. I’ll wait and see just how long it takes people to wake up to what’s happening. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yes, I recognize this entire situation is complicated. Yes, I realize people need to work to live. 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