{"id":2992,"date":"2020-08-23T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-08-23T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lfsmusings.com\/?p=2992"},"modified":"2021-01-22T15:34:47","modified_gmt":"2021-01-22T21:34:47","slug":"asking-for-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/08\/23\/asking-for-help\/","title":{"rendered":"Asking for Help"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1880\" height=\"1255\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/pexels-photo-4260482.jpeg?resize=1880%2C1255&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3569\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/pexels-photo-4260482.jpeg?w=1880&amp;ssl=1 1880w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/pexels-photo-4260482.jpeg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/pexels-photo-4260482.jpeg?resize=1024%2C684&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/pexels-photo-4260482.jpeg?resize=768%2C513&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/pexels-photo-4260482.jpeg?resize=1536%2C1025&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/pexels-photo-4260482.jpeg?resize=850%2C567&amp;ssl=1 850w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I have always struggled with asking for help. Perhaps it is a symptom of being the eldest child. My research isn&#8217;t in pyschology. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For as long as I can remember, I&#8217;ve always been the responsible one. The independent one. The good example. The one who needed little to no guidance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Asking for help was not a skill I learned. It&#8217;s not a skill people teach either. Perhaps independence is a symptom of my abandonment and adoption. Maybe it&#8217;s just me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning to ask for help has been an ongoing and active challenge for the last seven years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Freshman year of college was one of the hardest years of my (still short) life. For the very first time, I was hundreds of miles from home in a city where I knew no one. I was no longer one of the smartest students in class. Everyone was like me. I had never performed so poorly in school. I had no clue how to find help. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Things began to change when I got an upperclassman as a mentor. I learned how to navigate college. I learned how to be more assertive. I figured out that there is nothing wrong with saying, &#8220;I don&#8217;t know.&#8221; Those skills saved me, and I try to teach the sam skills as a mentor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s an ongoing process, as is everything. I still struggle to ask for help. I still catch myself prefacing a question with, &#8220;Sorry, quick question&#8230;&#8221; My heart races and I have to take deep breaths so I don&#8217;t stumble over my words. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many of us go through it. Just remember, we all need help. It doesn&#8217;t make you look any weaker than anyone else. Practice asking for help often, even if it&#8217;s just small questions. It gets easier and easier every time. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have always struggled with asking for help. Perhaps it is a symptom of being the eldest child. 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