{"id":4709,"date":"2020-10-15T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-10-15T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lfsmusings.com\/?p=4709"},"modified":"2020-10-13T12:16:18","modified_gmt":"2020-10-13T17:16:18","slug":"thoughts-for-my-26th-birthday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/15\/thoughts-for-my-26th-birthday\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts for my 26th Birthday"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"BIRTHDAY EPISODE | MY ADOPTION STORY\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/hPoSu1hL95g?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Happy 26th Birthday to Me!<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I wasn\u2019t quite sure how this year would go. I spent my 25th birthday reflecting on how different my life was than I had predicted. I was still processing my broken engagement and living in a new apartment. I was focusing on my own strength and independence.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Turning 26 is yet again, filled with reflection and surprise at how my life is turning out. I have reconciled with my partner. We are still in the middle of a pandemic. I am performing all of my teaching duties virtually. I am finally seeing my parents for the first time since Christmas.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I don\u2019t think I am alone in reflecting on the last year of life and questioning how I got to where I am now. And of course, birthdays are always filled with the normal adoptee feelings for me too.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to my paperwork (which already estimated my birthday based on my medical exam) I was relinquished at 3 days old. What does October 15th mean to me? It may or may not be my actual birthday, but more importantly, if it is my birthday, it is part of the very short time I had with my first family.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I always think of my first family on my birthday. Especially my first mom. I always knew I was adopted and I didn\u2019t come from my adoptive mom\u2019s belly. I\u2019ve always been jealous of the non-adoptees in my life who know the exact date and time they were born\u2026. Who grew up hearing about their birth stories\u2026 Whose mom would call right on time and say, \u201cThis exact time, X years ago, you were born!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I wonder if they named me. I wonder how long they held me. I wonder who placed me at the police station to be found. I wonder if they think of me too. If they look at the year and picture where I am as a 26-year-old.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My birthday is always bittersweet. Thankfully, my adoptive family holds space for my first family. They validate these feelings and let the happiness and sadness come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unlike my 25th birthday, I don\u2019t have words of advice for my younger self. Instead, I reflect on the last year and validate everything that has happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I know that many people have loved and supported me to get me to where I am today. I am proud of my resilience. I am proud of the woman I have become. I am proud of the woman I aspire to be.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Happy 26th Birthday to Me! I wasn\u2019t quite sure how this year would go. I spent my 25th birthday reflecting on how different&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3235,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,2,27,8,19],"tags":[762,763,41,760,132,135,765,186,766,767,663],"class_list":["post-4709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption","category-advocacy","category-life-adventures","category-lifestyle","category-todays-musing","tag-26-birthday","tag-26th-birhday","tag-adoptee","tag-adoption-birthday","tag-birthday","tag-blog-birthday","tag-chineese-adoptee","tag-chinese-adoption","tag-international-adoptee","tag-international-adoption","tag-transracial-adoptee"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Thoughts for my 26th Birthday - LillyFei<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/hPoSu1hL95g Happy 26th Birthday to Me! 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