{"id":4756,"date":"2020-10-29T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-10-29T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lfsmusings.com\/?p=4756"},"modified":"2021-01-22T15:17:16","modified_gmt":"2021-01-22T21:17:16","slug":"whats-a-gotcha-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/","title":{"rendered":"What’s a Gotcha Day"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Adoption Day. Anniversary of the day I was adopted. Family Day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Never Gotcha Day<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was it the pet community or the adoption community that used it first? I have no clue. At this point, I\u2019m not sure it even matters anymore. All I know is that in the several polls I have seen, the overwhelming majority of adoptees who participate vote \u201cno\u201d when asked if they like Gotcha Day<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure, we can talk about biases and variables that may affect the results, but I think what\u2019s more important to discuss is how despite adoptees saying they do not like to use Gotcha Day<\/em> to name the anniversary of their adoption, people ignore this request and use it anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This has happened to me, too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I was younger, I liked the term. In fact, I preferred it. I asked my parents to call it Gotcha Day<\/em>. It wasn\u2019t until I got older and realized how objectifying it is that I changed my mind. Now, I politely remind people that Gotcha Day<\/em> is not something I use. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To me, \u201cgotcha\u201d is something you say when you prank someone\u2026 or when you are telling someone you understand. \u201cI gotcha!\u201d It\u2019s not something to signify adoption. My parents didn\u2019t get <\/em>me. I am not an object someone gets. While I may have liked the term before I had a firm grasp on gotcha<\/em>, it has now become something that feels belittling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, I also remember that adoptees should be free to call their day whatever they want. The day is about them after all. Their adoption. If they want to acknowledge it, they can. If they don\u2019t want to, they shouldn\u2019t have to. If they change their minds, they should be able to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Invalidating an adoptee\u2019s feelings so you can use a term that makes you comfortable is wrong. Forcing an adoptee to adhere to certain terminology to describe their own experience is wrong. Be aware of the debates surrounding Gotcha Day<\/em>. Be aware that forcing someone to use that term is invalidating and disrespectful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recognize that an adoptee should hold the power in describing their experiences and those descriptions can evolve. Understand that not every adoptee will have the same feelings towards everything and just because one likes the term doesn\u2019t permit you to use it on someone else. It\u2019s not about you. It\u2019s about the adoptee. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Adoption Day. Anniversary of the day I was adopted. Family Day. Never Gotcha Day. Was it the pet community or the adoption community…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4758,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,2],"tags":[41,43,47,48,51,52,54,55,62,63,64,778,73,777],"class_list":["post-4756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption","category-advocacy","tag-adoptee","tag-adoptee-blogger","tag-adoptee-feelings","tag-adoptee-lilly","tag-adoptee-movement","tag-adoptee-representation","tag-adoptee-trauma","tag-adoptee-voices","tag-adoption-advocacy","tag-adoption-blog","tag-adoption-blogs","tag-adoption-day","tag-adoption-trauma","tag-gotcha-day"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat's a Gotcha Day - LillyFei<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Adoption Day. Anniversary of the day I was adopted. Family Day. Never Gotcha Day. Was it the pet community or the adoption community that used it first? I\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What's a Gotcha Day - LillyFei\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Adoption Day. Anniversary of the day I was adopted. Family Day. Never Gotcha Day. Was it the pet community or the adoption community that used it first? I\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"LillyFei\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-10-29T15:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-01-22T21:17:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Blog-Memes.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"LillyFei\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"LillyFei\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"LillyFei\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c803a8501b0c9b65f84f8eadbd00a9b2\"},\"headline\":\"What’s a Gotcha Day\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-10-29T15:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-22T21:17:16+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":417,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c803a8501b0c9b65f84f8eadbd00a9b2\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1\",\"keywords\":[\"adoptee\",\"adoptee blogger\",\"adoptee feelings\",\"adoptee lilly\",\"adoptee movement\",\"adoptee representation\",\"adoptee trauma\",\"adoptee voices\",\"adoption advocacy\",\"adoption blog\",\"adoption blogs\",\"adoption day\",\"adoption trauma\",\"gotcha day\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Adoption\",\"Advocacy\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/\",\"name\":\"What's a Gotcha Day - LillyFei\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-10-29T15:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-22T21:17:16+00:00\",\"description\":\"Adoption Day. Anniversary of the day I was adopted. Family Day. Never Gotcha Day. Was it the pet community or the adoption community that used it first? I\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1\",\"width\":1080,\"height\":1080},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/index.php\\\/2020\\\/10\\\/29\\\/whats-a-gotcha-day\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"What’s a Gotcha Day\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"LillyFei\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c803a8501b0c9b65f84f8eadbd00a9b2\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lillyfei.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c803a8501b0c9b65f84f8eadbd00a9b2\",\"name\":\"LillyFei\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/86e5557888d3c8f789acff9a6329aac7840dbf660ba1dc8840a17d5ac3030bc4?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/86e5557888d3c8f789acff9a6329aac7840dbf660ba1dc8840a17d5ac3030bc4?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/86e5557888d3c8f789acff9a6329aac7840dbf660ba1dc8840a17d5ac3030bc4?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"LillyFei\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/86e5557888d3c8f789acff9a6329aac7840dbf660ba1dc8840a17d5ac3030bc4?s=96&d=mm&r=g\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/lfsmusings.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What's a Gotcha Day - LillyFei","description":"Adoption Day. Anniversary of the day I was adopted. Family Day. Never Gotcha Day. Was it the pet community or the adoption community that used it first? I","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What's a Gotcha Day - LillyFei","og_description":"Adoption Day. Anniversary of the day I was adopted. Family Day. Never Gotcha Day. Was it the pet community or the adoption community that used it first? I","og_url":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/","og_site_name":"LillyFei","article_published_time":"2020-10-29T15:00:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-01-22T21:17:16+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1080,"height":1080,"url":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Blog-Memes.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"LillyFei","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"LillyFei","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/"},"author":{"name":"LillyFei","@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c803a8501b0c9b65f84f8eadbd00a9b2"},"headline":"What’s a Gotcha Day","datePublished":"2020-10-29T15:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-01-22T21:17:16+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/"},"wordCount":417,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c803a8501b0c9b65f84f8eadbd00a9b2"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1","keywords":["adoptee","adoptee blogger","adoptee feelings","adoptee lilly","adoptee movement","adoptee representation","adoptee trauma","adoptee voices","adoption advocacy","adoption blog","adoption blogs","adoption day","adoption trauma","gotcha day"],"articleSection":["Adoption","Advocacy"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/","url":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/","name":"What's a Gotcha Day - LillyFei","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1","datePublished":"2020-10-29T15:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-01-22T21:17:16+00:00","description":"Adoption Day. Anniversary of the day I was adopted. Family Day. Never Gotcha Day. Was it the pet community or the adoption community that used it first? I","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1","contentUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1","width":1080,"height":1080},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/29\/whats-a-gotcha-day\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What’s a Gotcha Day"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/","name":"LillyFei","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c803a8501b0c9b65f84f8eadbd00a9b2"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c803a8501b0c9b65f84f8eadbd00a9b2","name":"LillyFei","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/86e5557888d3c8f789acff9a6329aac7840dbf660ba1dc8840a17d5ac3030bc4?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/86e5557888d3c8f789acff9a6329aac7840dbf660ba1dc8840a17d5ac3030bc4?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/86e5557888d3c8f789acff9a6329aac7840dbf660ba1dc8840a17d5ac3030bc4?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"LillyFei"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/86e5557888d3c8f789acff9a6329aac7840dbf660ba1dc8840a17d5ac3030bc4?s=96&d=mm&r=g"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/lfsmusings.com"]}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lillyfei.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Blog-Memes.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4756","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4756"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4756\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5299,"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4756\/revisions\/5299"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4756"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4756"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4756"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}