{"id":73,"date":"2019-07-01T10:04:46","date_gmt":"2019-07-01T15:04:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lfsmusing.wordpress.com\/?p=73"},"modified":"2019-07-01T10:04:46","modified_gmt":"2019-07-01T15:04:46","slug":"punchline-youre-adopted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2019\/07\/01\/punchline-youre-adopted\/","title":{"rendered":"Punchline: You’re adopted."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\u201cThey\u2019re the smart one in the family. They must\u2019ve been adopted.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey\u2019re the only one with freckles. We say they must\u2019ve been adopted.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey\u2019re the weird one of the family. They were probably adopted.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The statements\/jokes listed above are hurtful. I\u2019ve spoken on this before, but I am encountering more and more adoption jokes. To many, adoption is not a part of life. It\u2019s just something other people do to start a family. To these same people, adoption is likely seen as beautiful. So, if that\u2019s the case, why would a joke about adoption be wrong? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those jokes highlight differences. They other<\/em> people. Sure, the attribute might be positive and uncommon in the family. A joke about adoption would appear to make adoption seem like a great thing then. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

People make jokes about adoption thinking about the act only\u2026 they don\u2019t think about adoptees. As an adoptee, I see these jokes and immediately think about how I\u2019m different from my family. I think about how the joke implies that the ONLY way I could be a unique being is through adoption. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst jokes I see are often by parents trying to be funny. \u201cOh, my son didn\u2019t clean his room\u2026 anyone want to adopt him?\u201d. I read this and think about what must be wrong with me to have been relinquished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adoption jokes make adoptees\u2019 stories and existences a punchline. No matter how innocent the joke may seem, it hits hard. No matter how innocent the joke may seem, I know that people are inherently afraid of what\u2019s different. I know that the difference being highlighted, either good or bad, must be explained away. How can it get any easier than explaining it with humor and making adoption the punchline? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next time you encounter this (or maybe you are the one making the joke), first ask yourself why someone is trying to highlight this difference between a person and their family. Then think about how an adoptee will feel seeing the joke. Think about all of the complexities that come with adoption being whittled down into a single punchline. What will you do next?<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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