{"id":906,"date":"2019-08-10T13:51:24","date_gmt":"2019-08-10T18:51:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lfsmusings.com\/?p=906"},"modified":"2020-09-26T16:53:41","modified_gmt":"2020-09-26T21:53:41","slug":"what-do-you-want-from-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lillyfei.com\/index.php\/2019\/08\/10\/what-do-you-want-from-me\/","title":{"rendered":"What do you want from me."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I’m tired of everyone expecting me to fix my life instantly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m tired of people forcing me to feel something I can’t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can’t please anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They want me happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They want me angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They want me sad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I am one, I can’t be the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They make me feel selfish and foolish for treating a major life change as a major life change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I choose to go to work and remain professional, I must be all better. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forcing me to socialize will somehow make me happy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now that the wedding date has come and gone, I must not feel anything. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I now know why people fault me for being compassionate towards someone else’s struggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I now know why they consider it weak and self-harming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because they have no compassion themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They cannot sympathize. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They take what they see at face value and expect me to just move on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s been 4 months since my life was turned upside down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s been 1.5 months since I was to be married. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one heals that quickly, and I will not be forced to in an effort to make other people feel better. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m tired of everyone expecting me to fix my life instantly. I’m tired of people forcing me to feel something I can’t. I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4368,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[89,158,248,428,525],"class_list":["post-906","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-anxiety","tag-breakup","tag-depression","tag-mental-health","tag-relationship-issues"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat do you want from me. - LillyFei<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'm tired of everyone expecting me to fix my life instantly. 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