Asking for Help

I have always struggled with asking for help. Perhaps it is a symptom of being the eldest child. My research isn’t in pyschology.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the responsible one. The independent one. The good example. The one who needed little to no guidance.

Asking for help was not a skill I learned. It’s not a skill people teach either. Perhaps independence is a symptom of my abandonment and adoption. Maybe it’s just me.

Learning to ask for help has been an ongoing and active challenge for the last seven years.

Freshman year of college was one of the hardest years of my (still short) life. For the very first time, I was hundreds of miles from home in a city where I knew no one. I was no longer one of the smartest students in class. Everyone was like me. I had never performed so poorly in school. I had no clue how to find help.

Things began to change when I got an upperclassman as a mentor. I learned how to navigate college. I learned how to be more assertive. I figured out that there is nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t know.” Those skills saved me, and I try to teach the sam skills as a mentor.

It’s an ongoing process, as is everything. I still struggle to ask for help. I still catch myself prefacing a question with, “Sorry, quick question…” My heart races and I have to take deep breaths so I don’t stumble over my words.

Many of us go through it. Just remember, we all need help. It doesn’t make you look any weaker than anyone else. Practice asking for help often, even if it’s just small questions. It gets easier and easier every time.