New Year New Me | 2021 Goals

2020 was a year of reflection for me. It flew by and while part of my cannot believe we are about to enter 2021, I am not surprised 2020 went by in the blink of an eye. Yes, March felt like it lasted 10 years. April and May were spent silently accepting quarantine and staying home. I was allowed back in the lab in June and our shift schedule was implemented in August.

During all of this, I got serious about writing a novel. I put one manuscript on hold and began drafting my YA romance in an attempt to offer some representation for Asian, transracial adoptees in bookstores. Because I had so much time at home, I was able to get multiple drafts written and am working on more rounds of edits.

2020 had me realizing what I am okay without and what I need in my life. It made me recognize that I can have multiple passions in life and if they aren’t all my career that is okay. Despite not doing much in 2020, I feel like I’ve grown a lot. I was able to process a lot emotionally and recognize areas where I can improve. I learned to be patient and to forgive.

Maybe most importantly, I have begun learning the balance of valuing myself without making everything about me. I have always been in that very weird position of ignoring my own needs for everyone else but also basing most of my actions on how I imagine people reacting to my decisions. It was my partner that got me to realize I should stop doing that. I should stop caring about what others think because it was causing me a lot of stress and anxiety.

“Do not worry about hurting their feelings. This is a business. They will not remember you in a month,” he said.

That made me realize. I am only the main character in my own life. I need to do what is best for me (while remaining a supportive and compassionate member of society).

I don’t plan on overthrowing my life to just follow my various passions at whim. I do need stability in life. But I am no longer afraid of not living my life fully because it might make someone upset. In reality, my life choices won’t be more than a 30-second thought to them.

2020 showed me what I value in life. It reinforced the fact that I only have so much time on this earth and I shouldn’t waste it living for anyone else. So, my 2021 goals aren’t exactly organized in a nice list that I get to check off (except for my one goal to journal regularly). It’s a mindset change for me. It’s an effort to value me. It’s a conscious decision to live for me and work for things that are healthy and happy for me.